you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
