420 ftw
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
