I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
