The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
