yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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