Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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