i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
