did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
