She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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