to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
