Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize