Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
