a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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