sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
