There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
