So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
