i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
