even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
