That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
