But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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