holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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