oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
