Yo dont text me then not text me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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