she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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