haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
