I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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