I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
