Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
