Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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