this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
