Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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