Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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