Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
