y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
