He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
