he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
