Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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