have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
