hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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