Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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