Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Fuck appropriateness.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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