Tell her she can't have a vagina
ugly people sure do ruin things
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
you never un-have a 4some
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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