I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
babies were throwing up all over the place
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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