u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
