I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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