after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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