I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Randomize
