i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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