We won't sleep together?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
