In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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