tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
birth control should be required to get into college
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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