even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize