I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
