She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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