There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
