laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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