when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
