I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
