Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
