you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
