The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
