I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
