She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
