Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She even gives head with a lisp.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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