Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
