I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
