idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
