I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
