I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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