I'm really into asian looking animals
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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