dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
