New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize