Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize