I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
