Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
