If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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