She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize