Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize