There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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