So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
