awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I wear drunk well.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
