My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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