If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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